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neurotic.
as fuck.
always.
over it.
beer time.
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Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
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well, as we all know im overly critical, overly analytical, overly blah blah blah
BUT for the first time in a while i think it has played in my favor.. Is it possible that im ACTUALLY writing a post, stating that someone else is making me happy? holy shit i thought this day may never come again. it feels weird/exciting.
i hope this doesnt jinx it.
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Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
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is it possible that everyone has the same feelings? i think so..
i think its possible that everyone has the same feelings and thoughts, they are just interpreted in multiple ways. Everyone just thinks theyre different than everyone else because all they see is whatever other people are putting on. The people you think are normal, feel like theyre different too.
basically what im trying to say is.... youre not special like you think you are.
also, progression is such a funny concept. everyone stresses over progression and the level of hilarity is genius because guess what? WE MADE IT UP hahaha
jokes on YOUUU, suckers. (its on me too dont worry)
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Thursday, February 19th, 2009
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try a year and a half now.
same shit, different day.
womp wompppppp
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
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I do not think there has ever been a more educated president.
Thank you for the stimulus bill, I have never been more exicted about the future of this country.
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
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Dear Self,
I tend to forget about you. I am writing this because I want to remember how good I feel right now whenever I have a bad day. For the first time in forever I feel like I know who I am, aside from anyone else. Im working long, hard, and with dedication to become accomplished and I know I will be successful in due time. I do not NEED anyone in my life, I realize FINALLY that other people are just enhancements and I cannot rely on anyone else to make me happy which ironically coming to this conclusion has helped me find happiness! It has been a month since everything happened and I realize I have taken so much away from the situation- although I hardly have time to play/socialize I have learned that life isnt all about progression, while some amounts are good.. if thats all I focus on I wont ever remember to enjoy whats going on now.
Thank you Brad for giving me a lifestyle to look up to, I promise not to mourn but to celebrate your life instead- I love and miss you.
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Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
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first off, HELL YES WAKE. way to kick ass tonight.
now: im really annoyed that the same people that have written me off when ive needed someone to talk to, are now the ones that are coming to me when theyve had a bad day, or are down and need someone to talk to.
isnt it ironic, dontcha think? a little tooooo ironic.
yea, i really do think.
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Sunday, January 18th, 2009
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last night zach's car broke down and we sat in the parking lot and collectively talked about our favorite little things.
i have an addition today:
++ not having to get out of bed immediately when you wake up. It is such a glorious feeling.
other chart toppers:
+ shower sheets
+++ texas pete
+ shoe flicking contests
+ sleeping outside
+ school supplies
+ new chap stick
+ small crochet stitches
+ drumsticks from Boba House
+ nappy roots
+ thunder storms
ALSO! its almost tuesdayyyy!
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Thursday, January 15th, 2009
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thank you to everyone who has been there for me for the past couple of days. i am so thankful to have such great friends to help me out through this difficult time. i love you all and am so thankful to have you guys in my life.
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Monday, January 12th, 2009
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live journal is for complaining right? right.
maybe one day ill take time to make a happy post so people think im well adjusted and not a debbie downer BUT alas..
until then:
SICKNESS- ive had you since thanksgiving, and you are supposed to be getting fucking weaker not stronger. not only do i have bronchitis STILL after completing all dose packs, cough syrup and inhailor i now have a kick ass sinus infection to go along with it, the stuff thats coming out of my nose looks like keylime pie and my nasal cavities are burning like i ingested chlorine, not to mention the awesome headache i have thats still lingering after 800 mgs of advil. AND since school started back ive been having to walk a shit ton which i shouldnt be doing so my weeeeeeze has come back along with a killer cough that i cant clear even though im coughing until the point of dry heave. so fuck you.
SCHOOL- thank god youre back, ive missed you. BUT of course as usual im stressed because i have to miss the second half of the first week of school to go to atlanta. im that annoying kid in the front of the class that raises their hand when there couldnt possibly be anything left to ask questions about SO missing three days is like having sex in the back pew of a church on sunday morning for me.
the end.
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Sunday, January 11th, 2009
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Friday, January 9th, 2009
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ive learned I need to keep my cards closer for sure.
not everyone needs to know everything about me. This is a mistake I keep making over and over. NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: be a closed off shithead.
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Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
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the fact that im still up at 5:15 isnt good seeing as how i have to be at work in less than four hours.
why
cant
i
sleep
?
help.
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Sunday, January 4th, 2009
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| Time: | 12:04 pm. |
| Mood: |  determined. |
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My mom just called me to tell me that she saw a patient at her office this week that used to be the nursing administrator for CMC. When my mom told her she had a daughter in nursing school there the woman went on to say that they nurses that come out of that program are almost always the most qualified for their positions and are the most successful. AND our average boards past rate was 98 percent, which is almost unheard of.
This only motivates me more to get through school and be successful, I'm so happy that I have something I'm so passionate about and I know that in a couple more semesters I will be able to do it AND GET PAID for the rest of my life. I cant wait for school to start backkkkkk!
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Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
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dear 2008,
i hated you and im glad you're gone. i will never look back on you again. The only thing i took with me, i think, is the understanding that i can get through way more than i thought i could and coming out of this past year i think i can finally say i know who i am now and what I like. i love this city and i love my school, i cant wait to keep progressing and make something of myself. im excited for a new year and new opportunities!
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work chest, work.
work it out now!
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its been over a year, and i still cry about it every day. i want you to be a part of everything i do. i want to share everything with you. ive tried to get over it but it just isnt working. ive talked everyone to death about it, but you. and i never will talk to you about it because i know youre happy now.. i just wish you could be happy with me.
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womp wompppp.
im moving, im moving soon- like 3 weeks maybe sooner soon.
im stressing (whats new) about my tiny ass apt. i have a queen bed.
cant afford a twin bed.
i cant meet new people, i have an issue- im crazy. bat shit crazy.
what do i do? right now i want to say "hi nice to meet you my name is courtney and im crazy stay away from me"
one day i hope my brain will chill and let my mouth form sentences.
friends (all three of you) if youre reading, thank you for putting up with me.
im scared to get old, im scared that ill get even more crazy. in highschool i though i was as crazy as crazy got, didnt think my brain could be any more chemically imbalanced, but now look at me. three years later with two new problems. didnt see that one coming.
i got bitten by a spider yesterday, maybe ill shoot webs soon.
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"Our belief is not a belief. Our principles are not a faith. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather that sufficient factors, but we distrust anything anything that contradicts science or outrages reason. We may differ on many things, but what we respect is free inquiry, open mindedness, and the pursuit of ideas for their own sake. We do not hold our convictions dogmatically; we resolve things by evidence and reasoning and not by mutual excommunication. We speculate that it is at least possible that, once people accepted the fact of their short and struggling lives, they might behave better toward each other and not worse. We believe with certainty that the corollary holds true-- that religion has caused innumerable people not just to conduct themselves no better than others, but to award themselves permission to behave in ways that would make a brothel-keeper or an ethnic cleanser raise an eyebrow."
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